New York, I Love You But You’re Bringing Me Down

“New York, I Love You
But you’re bringing me down

Like a rat in a cage
Pulling minimum wage

New York, I Love You
But you’re bringing me down

New York, you’re safer
And you’re wasting my time

Our records all show
You are filthy but fine

But they shuttered your stores
When you opened the doors
To the cops who were bored
Once they’d run out of crime

New York, you’re perfect
Don’t please don’t change a thing

Your mild billionaire mayor’s
Now convinced he’s a king

So the boring collect
I mean all disrespect

In the neighborhood bars
I’d once dreamt I would drink“

– LCD Soundsystem

There’s really nothing like this city. A city that can make you feel invincible one second and feel defeated the next.

When I began telling people that I was moving in New York after graduation I got a mix of reactions. Many people were happy for me, friends told me how jealous they were and how they wanted to come visit. Others made a face of either distaste or seemed unenthused, and proceeded to tell me New York was a hard city. I took that as a challenge. I knew that New York wouldn’t be an easy place. It’s one of the most competitive cities on Earth, but I had confidence in myself and a whole lot of drive. I was cocky. I have lived in New York for half a year and can confirm that it is indeed a tough city to live in. I’ve always prided myself in adapting well to new surroundings. Mixing being practically launched into adulthood and New York has turned out to be a whole other ballgame.

I have applied for so many jobs, I can’t keep track. I have probably 20 versions of my resume. I had full confidence that I would have a well-paying full-time job in fashion PR within a month of living in NYC. Well that has not happened. I like to tell myself that it’s not meant to be. Right now, I’m supposed to figure out who adult New Yorker Megan is.

I’m still trying to figure that out. I don’t think I’ve been this perplexed about what I want or who I am since junior high, and that’s saying something. What a weird time in life. The first time where I don’t have anyone in my life telling what to do or what I should be doing. I went to school, I got good grades, I had an internship, now it’s time to get a job. What do you do when that doesn’t go as planned?

After countless talks with my boyfriend and my mom, I think it’s finally time to get my mind off of the negatives and what feels like my failings. It’s time to focus on me. Like most people, I’ve never really had the chance to do so. Not many people are lucky enough to get off of work, and not have a thing to do. There’s no time like the present to get healthy mentally and physically, take up hobbies I have practically forgot about, make new friends and enjoy the city that I moved across the country to be in.